The Gavel
The bid button is on trial.
The Gavel subpoenas the stars, the dollar benches and the commissioners.
1:12 · Writer section
THE LAB ON AIR · 2026-10-11
The bid button is on trial.
The Gavel subpoenas the stars, the dollar benches and the commissioners.
Read the transcript
Welcome to The Lab. Twelve teams. One hundred fifty-six purchases. No refunds. No mercy.
All rise. James paid one hundred eighty-five dollars for Luka, Shai and Bam. Ten players share fifteen dollars. Your stars got contracts. Everybody else was hired for the exposure.
Michelle spent one hundred ninety-one on four players. The other nine cost a dollar each. Game of Throws has four VIPs and nine people holding their coats.
Kayla put one hundred eighty into Brunson, Giannis and Sabonis. Experiment six twenty-six has four alien arms. Good. Somebody has to carry that bench.
Commissioner John bought Davis, Durant and Kawhi for seventy-three combined, the price of James's Luka. Then The Professors left eighteen dollars unused. The school does not issue refunds.
Janise left twenty-nine behind. Biggest unused balance in the room. You negotiated against yourself and lost.
Brooklyn paid one hundred forty-one for Jokic and Flagg. Eleven players split fifty-nine. Royal treasury. Peasant payroll.
Guilty. Community service: explain your bench without using the word upside.
An audio adaptation of the October 11 draft Gazette. One AI host performs the five fictional writer styles. Draft figures, the first waiver pickup and the dated preseason estimates use the written edition's checked sources. Keeper examples assume the same $200 budget and thirteen slots next year. Roasts are opinion.
Read the written Gazette · Full show and all clips · Audio library