The Wire
The dollar aisle knows your name.
The Wire checks Janise's first pickup and three benches built from spare change.
0:30 · Writer section
THE LAB ON AIR · 2026-10-11
The dollar aisle knows your name.
The Wire checks Janise's first pickup and three benches built from spare change.
Read the transcript
The Wire. Janise left twenty-nine dollars at the draft, then bought Cameron Johnson for one from the separate waiver wallet. Supermarket gift card untouched. Dinner from the gas station.
James drafted seven dollar players. Michelle drafted nine. Kayla drafted eight. The waiver wire will recognize you on sight.
Claims process at six a.m. Eastern. A Sunday panic does not come with express shipping. Set the lineup. The dollar-store staff can't do everything.
An audio adaptation of the October 11 draft Gazette. One AI host performs the five fictional writer styles. Draft figures, the first waiver pickup and the dated preseason estimates use the written edition's checked sources. Keeper examples assume the same $200 budget and thirteen slots next year. Roasts are opinion.
Read the written Gazette · Full show and all clips · Audio library